Monday, 11 February 2013

Chapter seventy two


Daniela leant against the wall and took another series of deep breaths.

"You can do this, Daniela." She muttered to herself. "Just another corridor to go."

A wave of nausea hit her and she placed her head between her legs, briefly considering just knocking on the door nearest to her and using their toilet to throw up into.

However, the nausea seemed to abate slightly and she immediately began moving again, hoping above everything that it will stay away until she reached Christiana's flat. And it did. She breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door.

"Hello?" She called out, not sure what she was potentially walking in on.

Christiana was alone, eating cereal on the sofa in her usual concoction of grey sweats.

"Oh thank God." Daniela said. "Does this mean that you didn't do anything?"

"Don't even get me started." Christiana said, glumly.

Daniela was about to question further when another wave of nausea hit her and she ran as fast as she could to the toilet, reaching it just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into it.

"You okay?" Christiana asked.

"Does it look like I'm okay?" Daniela snapped before she started throwing up again.

Christiana ran forward and pulled Daniela's hair back. Daniela continued to heave, although there was absolutely nothing left to throw up.

"Seriously, what the hell?" Daniela said as the vomiting ceased once more. "I thought the one good thing about not drinking was that I'd be the only one not feeling like crap the next morning. But no, apparently the world isn't done screwing me over."

"What happened?" Christiana asked. "Did you eat something bad?"

"I have no freaking idea but I have been like this on and off for about five hours now. If it is something I ate, I think it's safe to say that it is no longer in my stomach anymore."

She sat back on the floor of the bathroom and rested her head against the cool tiles. Christiana flushed the toilet and started wiping Daniela's face with a flannel.

"I thought the whole point of us taking these sodding injections meant that we wouldn't have to feel sick anymore." Daniela complained.

"We haven't finished them yet, maybe that's why." Christiana offered.

"So I manage to get sick in the last days of being able to? Figures."

Christiana let out a little laugh.

"Oh I'm sorry, it's not funny." She said.

"No it isn't." Daniela said. "And what the hell is the deal with you living so far away from Jason? I almost left a vomit trail across half the corridors."

"I'll get onto the people who designed the place, clearly they had not anticipated such a situation as this in their planning. Probably focusing too much time on trying to make it safe and crap like that."

"I wouldn't bother, they're probably dead now. Because that's how we thank people for saving the human race."

"Wow, so vomiting brings out the bitter in you." Christiana said. "I like it."

"Yeah well, it also brings out the bitch in me too. You might not like that."

And then the nausea was back and Daniela was back over the toilet bowl. After a couple more episodes of heaving nothing but bile, she let out a groan of frustration.

"Why?" She cried out. "No one else is sick! Why me?"

"Yeah well, at least by being stuck in that room for so long, you know you can't be pregnant."

Daniela's head shot up at Christiana's words. She threw Christiana a panicked look. Christiana's mouth fell open.

"You're kidding me. Already?" She asked. "You've only been out for five minutes!"

Daniela fiddled with her jacket sleeve, giving it her entire attention.

"I had needs." She said.


"The night before they left."

"With Duncan?"

"Of course with Duncan! I said I had needs, not that I was a whore."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Daniela shrugged. "You were going through all that stuff with Connor, I didn't want to sit and brag about how great my relationship was going."

"Of course you can tell me!" Christiana said. "This kind of thing is a pretty big deal! Wait. This really isn't the point. Daniela, do you think you might be pregnant?"

Daniela tried to do the math. She was late but not by much. Her hands shot to her breasts.

"What are you doing?" Christiana asked.

"I'm checking to see if they're tender, that's meant to mean your pregnant, right?"


"They feel alright."

"Well, as foolproof as that little test was. I'd suggest an actual pregnancy test, just to confirm."

"Where are we going to..."

Christiana pulled out a first aid box from under the sink.

"I stubbed my toe in the first week, I was looking for a plaster and I found this."

She flipped the box open and inside was a small pharmacy of pregnancy goodies from pregnancy tests to menstration sticks.

"I had thought it was a little OTT at the time, but I guess when you're all suddenly the only chance of repopulating the earth, it kind of makes sense."

"Woah, I bet the Sheep clan have already used their box up."

"I think I will officially love you forever if you manage to get pregnant from one night after all of their unsuccessful tries."

"Yes, because that's what we should focus on if I'm pregnant."

Christiana suddenly let out a squeal and opened one of the tests.

"Pee on it! Pee on it!"

Daniela looked at it apprehensively. She really wasn't sure if she even wanted to know.

"Can't I just leave it and see if there's a baby in 9 months?"

"Daniela Davids, I absolutely forbid you from putting this off. I would like to know if I need to start knitting jumpers now."

"Fine," Daniela said, taking the stick. "But if this thing is positive be ready for a stupid amount of freaking out from me."

"I'm completely prepared for that, I've had training and everything."

And with a squeal, she helped Daniela up and gave her a hug. She left Daniela to it, letting out another squeal as she closed the door. Daniela stared at the white stick in her hand, momentarily paralysed where she stood. She briefly considered what it would be like if she was pregnant, but the concept was so scary, she couldn't continue. She sat down on the toilet and buried her head in her hands. She couldn't be. She could barely look after herself, let alone someone else. And then there was the chasm of crap that she had only just begun to work through. She wasn't sure if mass murderers should even be allowed to have children.

“I don’t hear any peeing.” Christiana called out from her side of the door.

Daniela rolled her eyes and decided to just get on with it. The sooner she knew, the sooner she could work out what the hell she was going to do about it. She followed the instructions on the pack and sat and waited with baited breath as the stick figured out what it was that it wanted to do. Eventually the screen gave it’s answer and Daniela blinked stupidly at the result.

“Well?” Christiana asked, still locked out.

Daniela got up and opened the door, her entire body numb from the experience.

“When it says ‘Positive: 10 days’ what do you reckon that means?”

“Let me see.” Christiana said, and took the stick from her, looking down at the results herself with a mirrored shock expression. “Oh my days, Daniela. You are officially the first woman to get pregnant in Utopia.”

Daniela collapsed onto the sofa behind her, all the tell tale signs of a panic attack creeping up on her. She worked really hard at trying to keep her breathing under control, but struggled with the task. Christiana took her hand and walked her through the slower breathing, breathing with her to set a rhythm. When it was starting to get under control, Daniela’s eyes met Christiana’s and she suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to burst into tears. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t be a mother.

“I can barely look after myself.” She said. “I’m constantly relying on people to pamper me, I can’t look after another person.”

“Yes you can.” Christiana said. “The same way that all women before us have done it. Nature finds a way to make it so that we can’t help but love them. You’ll figure it out. And you’ll also have 999 other people who will want to help. Not to mention Duncan.”

Daniela’s eyes widened at Duncan’s name and she felt her breathing increase once more.

“Duncan!” She said. “Duncan’s going to hate this!”

“Relax,” Christiana said. “Duncan loves kids weirdly enough. He grew up in a massive family, loads of nieces and nephews that he used to love spending time with. He’s pretty good with them actually.”

Daniela found some comfort in Christiana’s words and focused on keeping her breathing slow once more. A sadness fell over her then, she stifled a sob and met Christiana’s eyes.

“I don’t deserve to have kids,” She said. “Not after what I’ve done.”

Christiana thought about that for a moment and then gave her a reassuring smile.

“Think of it as restoring the balance,” she offered. “You ended a few lives sure, but now you get to work at bringing in new ones.”

“I have to do this 100 times??!” Daniela asked.

Christiana laughed, “I don’t think we need to look at it as literally as that.” She said.

Daniela’s stomach was in knots.

“I just don’t know if I’m going to be any good at this.” She said.

“You’ll be fine,” Christiana said. “And for the bits that you’re not so sure of, you have Duncan. That man is not going anywhere.”

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