“I’m drunk.” Adam announced.
“And?” Duncan countered.
“And, it’s 10am. I’m drunk at 10am in what has to be one of the weirdest undercover and covert places I’ve ever been to.”
Duncan laughed, “I told you, it’s an army thing.” He gestured his hands to the whole room as he leant back in his chair. “This is where we come to unwind, and you can be damn sure that if anyone from the public found out about it, the papers would go nuts.” He leaned in for a whisper. “It is a tad over the top.”
“Yeah, nice to know where our taxes are going.”
“They’re going right back in your stomach, ready for you to puke up later if I have anything to do with it.” Duncan pushed Adam’s full drink towards him. Adam just stared at it hopelessly.
“I may need to slow down if I want to stay awake for longer than 5 minutes.”
“You’re fine, don’t be such a woose.”
Adam sighed, “Fine, one more drink can’t hurt.”
“Duncan? Thank God!”
Adam looked up from his drink to see a tall, slim woman with short brown hair pull a chair next to Duncan.
“Hey Katie, thought I’d see you here.”
“I need help.”
“My egg’s trying to leave.”
Duncan’s face fell and Adam leant forward, “I’m sorry, your what?”
Katie turned to Adam for the first time and her face fell. “Adam Gammon.” The words fell out of her mouth in a way that Adam was all too used to, forming a shocked statement as the realisation hit her.
“Katie! Focus. What’s your issue?”
“I lured her here on the pretense of a double date-“
“A double date at this time of the morning?” Adam asked?
“What? She’s really hard to lure, her brain is massive and not easily lied to... except when it comes to men, then she’s all over it like a rash, regardless. I played to her strengths.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that there isn’t a guy. Which would have been fine, as I had planned to turn the fact that she had been stood up into this massive drinking session until she passed out, but I get here and they tell me that they need her sober, and now she’s just completely clear headed and pissed. She’s threatening to leave, I’ve got Dave keeping her company but I really need your help.”
“I dread to ask this next question, but how am I meant to be helping?”
“I need you to be Nathan.” Katie said.
“The man I made up to get her here.” Katie explained.
“I thought that guy stood her up.” Adam chipped in.
“He’s not actually real.” Katie said.
“It’s okay mate, just drink your drink.” Duncan said, pushing the second glass to him.
“I’ve told her that he’s running late, and now I need you to turn up and pretend to be him... oh and he’s rich as well, so remember that.”
“I don’t know Katie. Isn’t this girl meant to be a genius or something? That’s a little out of my comfort zone.”
“Oh come on Duncan! Please? She’s really pretty and it’s not like you’re actually dating her, you’re just pretending to.”
“I can’t really leave Adam.”
“Bring him along!” Katie seemed momentarily distracted by something behind Duncan. “Oh crap, she’s leaving, move!”
Duncan rolled his eyes at Katie but got up anyway and pulled Adam to his feet. Adam stumbled a bit before he found his balance.
“Woah, dude, I am well and truly pissed.”
“You’re fine, let’s go.”
“Wait, so what are we doing?” Adam asked.
“You don’t have to do anything, just smile when she realises who you are and get ready to sign an autograph.”
“Make that two autographs.” Katie chirped in. “Big fan by the way.”
“I think I can do that.”
“Awesome, oh and Ad? My name’s Nathan from now on.”
“Sure thing Duncan, I got you covered.”